Thoughts of a Diva

Hey y’all! I really hope that 2016 has been good to you thus far. I haven’t posted in FOREVER. I’ve let time get away from me, but writing is my relaxation and I vow to relax more often. So Anyway – let me jump right into my first post of 2016 and my first post in a looooooong ass time! So….I have a boo. Yea, yea more on that in a future post. But let me tell you guys dating is already scary but dating with kids is super scary because it’s not just my life that I might be messing up. So I’m not going to sit her and lie and say that I took all of these things into account before I started my current relationship but these things have been on my list of ‘must haves’ for a while. Back up back up, now I haven’t dated in FOREVER! I haven’t been in a relationship since 2003. Listen, believe what I tell you and ignore the fact that I have a 9-year-old son. Ha, that too is yet another post. (He was created in the beginnings of a relationship reboot that didn’t fully reboot due to lies and o...

So this website exists.... Like why? Why do married people cheat? I find it hard to believe that they won't get a divorce for biblical or moral reasons because aren't you cheating? In my age group it seems like for every 10 married people I know 7 of them have cheated. Why? When divorce is an option. Do you really think your mate respects you NOT divorcing them but continuing to cheat? HELL NO! I've heard from some guys that it is for financial reasons. Like "she makes more money and we've created this lifestyle" Or if I divorce her I'll have yet another child support case and my pockets can't afford it" OR "I'm staying to my kids get old enough" Old enough for what? Are children ever happy to find out their parents are divorcing? At what age do you no longer care if your parents no longer love each other? GTFOHWTBS!!!!Listen children are not stupid. They no that you and the other person don't love each other anymore. They he...

The closure principle is a Gestalt principle of perceptual organization, stating that we see incomplete figures as complete figures, by closing up or ignoring gaps. An example of this is seeing an incomplete circle, but perceiving it as a complete circle despite it having a gap figure. http://www.psychologyconcepts.com/closure-principle/  I came across this site when looking for a picture to illustrate my thoughts. The trouble with things been left undone is ...well...they're undone. It's very hard to move on from relationships that you feel like have not reached closure. It's like an unclosed circle. When it's not finished, when the ends do not meet things can always be put in or taken away from the experience. Sure you can place a covering over the opening in hopes of keeping the good memories in and the insecurities out but there's always something that can come along and rip that covering off and the good and the bad and the true and false will be all...

  What does it mean when almost every one who knows the both of think you're either currently dating, have dated or should date? Do they see something the two of you have missed or are in denial about or are they just misreading the signals of really close friends? It's a male/female friendship won't people find something to talk about anyway?  What do you think?

       If you know me then you know that I don't get males. Like at ALL! They are so weird to me and that's coming from someone who grew up with 2 brothers and is now raising 2 sons. I mean I get along with them...some of my best friends are male (ha); but when it comes to romance with the opposite sex and I am completely lost. So let me ask you guys what you think.          So there's this guy that I kind of sort of know and I think he likes me OR he thinks I like him and finds it humorous.  I can be very friendly and playful (usually out of nervousness/shyness) when I meet a person and I guess that can be mistaken for flirtation but I don't think I've been that nice to him. I hardly ever see him. But when I do see him, if he's with this one friend in particular they act really strange together.      For example, they once approached me about nothing. That sounds weird because it is weird. They came to...

       So today one of my Facebook friends shared an article about loving someone you can never be with. It was an interesting read and made me think of a situation that I am in. Not a situation where I am necessarily in love with a person that I can never be with so much so as not even knowing if you and the other person can ever be together. What happens to love deferred? If you click with someone and there's not just the click but also a spark between the two of you but for one reason or another you NEVER even get to go out on a date what happens. I mean I guess in some situations you won't necessarily talk to the person again but in my situation I do still talk to the person. We have a decent enough friendship but a part of me wonders if we're really good friends or are we holding on to this in limbo relationship in hopes that one day our situations will change and we can give it a shot.      I kind of want to have him...

I was sorting through a box I found in the back of my closet and found this piece of paper that I'd written 10 things that make the PERFECT snuggly boo (BAE, boyfriend, boo, lovebug,etc.) It was apparently written a while ago but the things on my list remain the same. These are in no particular order.  Must have a belief system including morals and values that are compatible to mine . He can't worship the devil, he can't belong to a cult, he can't be so devoted to his religion that he despises me if I miss a Sunday (and trust me I will miss a Sunday or two....or three). As long as he knows that I'm a good person and I always try to choose right over wrong and I know the same about him...we're good. #TeamGoodGuys Must be cute (to me).  If you were to look at the guys I've dated/pined for you will see that they have few, if any, physical characteristics in common. I don't care if other people think they're cute or not. I've dated ...

    I'm not a petty person by definition. Usually. But a thought crossed my mind after going through a situation with a certain somebody that was so petty it shocked me that I'd even had the thought. I'm still on the fence about taking action on this thought so I thought I'd bring it to my blog readers (though quiet, I know ya'll are out there...I see my stats) and Facebook to help me decide.     Before I can present you with the actual question I need to provide you with a little background.   First, I wrote a book. A cute little non fiction number about 5 women and a beauty shop. I've been writing this book for about 2 years. Not because it was that difficult to write but because I'm a perpetual procrastinator and I foolishly yet wholeheartedly believe that I work best under pressure.   Okay. So a few months ago I decided to toss out my procrastinator way of life and just finish the damn book already! I started working on the book lik...

     Recently my Facebook has been alive and thriving with debates about how child support paid by a noncustodial parent to a custodial should be allocated. The reason why this topic interests me is because 1. I have custody of my children and received child support from their father; 2. This debate is sparked by somebody on FB at least twice a year and in my opinion the statements are ridiculous and 3. It is very interesting to hear from the male/non-custodial parent viewpoint. The overall consensus seems to be that child support is child support not mama support . This pains me.       Legally, Child support is issued under the idea that both parents are obligated to financially support their children regardless of the relationship status of the parents. Child support is financial support of children and does not include emotional support, intellectual support, physical care, or spiritual support which are often t...

I used to be, for the most part, a serious grudge holder. I mean when someone would do something, anything negative to me I would completely cut them off. Of course because of my nature I was always very vocal about 1. What they did, 2. Why it upset me 3. What I think they could have done instead and 4. What our relationship would be like from that point forward. I look back now and I imagine that I must have seemed like a crazy woman telling people that we were done and then explaining to them in great deal why and the consequences. Kind of like a parent scolding a toddler. I think the reason why I get so hurt when people do me wrong is because I am a very very caring and generous person who does NOT wear their heart on their sleeve. Usually people tend to think that I am void of emotions. This always makes me laugh because I am an emotional mess. But, I’m not very vocal about this until I feel that I can completely trust you and that you will regard my feelings as serious muthaf...

Don't Get Caught Slippin' Okay so I met this guy, we’ll call him John – because that’s his name (no I’m not scared and yes I will put you out there)   Anyway John and I talked for a   few weeks, maybe a month; just texting after the initial exchange of numbers. Not dates, no sex, no pressure, nothing serious. This was back in maybe September of last year. After this kind of died off for whatever reason (I don’t know I wasn’t pressed because I met someone else who I liked better and started dating him) I didn’t even think about John even though I thought he was a rather cool guy. Well, fast forward to February 2013, and in comes a text from John. By this time I was talking to the other guy or anyone for that matter so I was like oh cool, here’s a text from John. And because I’m a G I’m going to give y’all the entire transcript ….well, the important parts. Check it: 2/2/13 Him: Hey Latina Me: Who is this? Him: John, we met……. Me: Oh, What’s up? Long time no he...

The old saying warns us “He’s not going to buy the cow, if you give him the milk for free”. And while I’ve seen this proven on numerous occasions, it seems to me that a new saying would better describe dating in today’s world. How about “Men would rather drink substandard milk, than invest the proper time and effort in a good decent breed of cow” In case you can’t decipher that let me explain. I’ve watched guys settle for and then later listened to them complain about women in their lives who have disappointed them to say the least. For example, I have a male friend who by all accounts is a solid guy. He’s attractive, god fearing, educated, humorous, hard working and genuinely caring. But when it comes to choosing a girl can’t help but assume he’s got more than one screw loose. I remember him once telling me about a woman he was dating and why he had to let her go. The conversation went something like this: “So why did you two break-up?” “She couldn’t tell me what she as ...

Over the years  I have learned that  I am a very literal girl. I mean very very VERY literal. I'm so literal that sometimes I end up getting hurt. I mean emotionally and I'm sure that I miss out on opportunities simply because I can't pick up on clues. I am going to share with you guys a very very embarrassing example of how literal/simple minded I am. Okay - in high school there was this fellow classmate whom I'd known since 7th grade but had not thought much about. I mean I knew he existed, how couldn't I - lots of girls thought he was cute and I guess he fairly popular (light skin was in then) - especially compared to me who was extremely --------GASP ------ shy. True story. Anyway lets fast forward. Now, before  I finish telling this, let me tell you that  I didn't (still don't) have much 'dating' experience. Whew, okay now that that's out of the way, let me tell you suddenly this guy started coming to my locker everyday and asking to...