I am writing a book. Actually, I've been writing a book for quite some time now. I have the entire book already written in my mind.This year I am going to finish it - hopefully during NaNoWriMo (NAtional NOvel WRIting MOnth)
As you can see I have a ticker (to the right) and just or a little encouragement the first chapter of my book is included below for your reading pleasure. Please comment below - I need the encouragement.
XO XO - Latina Renee
Chapter1:
Sylvia’s Story
I
know I need to get my lazy behind out of this bed. I’ve already hit the snooze
button twice and if I hit it one more time I know I’ll be taking a major risk
of being late for the grand opening of my salon this morning. It’s not that I’m
tired I just have days like this sometimes. I wish I could just lie here all
day and try to figure out how I got to where I am. I mean don’t get me wrong,
life is not horrible for me by far. It’s just that ten years ago you wouldn’t
have been able to pay me to believe that this where I would be. But I guess we
never see the storms coming. For the most part I have made it out of storm and
I’m doing fine but I just know that if James hadn’t been killed in a car
accident 3 years ago I would be just that much better.
James
is or was my husband of 10 years. We married young, I was only 18 and he was
20. We had been a couple since I was 16 and he was 18. We never even intended
to be a couple. I was being fast and he was been mannish young and carefree.
James played basketball with my brother in both junior high and high school.
They were known as the dynamic duo. Anyway, after so many years of being so
close to my brother James with like a family member but that didn’t stop me from
noticing how cute he was. Cute is an
understatement, the boy was fine. All of the girls in the neighborhood wanted
to hook up with him but he was a player and completely out of my league. He would flirt with me from time to time when
my older brother was paying attention but I knew he didn’t mean anything by it.
It was just his nature to try and get as many girls as possible. But one day he
came over looking for my brother, Mark, but I was the only one home.
Even
though I told James that Mark was out with one of his nasty girlfriends and
wouldn’t probably be home anytime soon he claimed he would just wait because he
had something very important to talk to him about. So we sat there on opposite
ends of the couch watching music when all of a sudden one of those boom boom
songs with the girls shaking their booties all over the place came on. I
immediately started to blush because I had overheard enough of James’ and my
brother’s bragging sessions to know these where the types of girls they were
attracted to. I also knew that at 5’6” and 115 pounds I was nothing like those
girls. I was started to get a little curve to my hips but my boobs and butt
were pretty much nonexistent.
I
guess James noticed that I had suddenly become more interested in my raggedy
fingernails than the videos when he leaned over and asked me “What’s wrong with
you? You don’t like this song? It’s the jam girl”
Never looking up from my nails I
replied
“It’s okay I guess, it’s the video I don’t
like with these basic chicks bouncing all around and acting dumb!”
I
guess he was feeling a little embarrassed about the way he had just finished
drooling at the girls when he offered “We can turn if you want to. This song is
getting old anyway”
I didn’t respond. I
just sat there feeling stupid because here I was in the house alone with the
guy commonly referred to as Fine Ass
James and I had the nerve to offend him. By this time the video had gone
off and commercials were in the background of our silence. On the verge of
tears, I abruptly stood up from the couch and mumbled something about him
waiting if he wanted to and escaped to the comforts of my room closing the door
and that embarrassing moment behind me.
I knew I could leave
James in the front of the house alone because first of all we didn’t have
nothing nobody would want to steal, secondly James didn’t steal and thirdly I
didn’t have to worry about my mama trippin because as late as Mark was going to
be coming in from his date our momma Juanita would be in even later, too drunk
and tired to even realized the presence of me her own daughter let alone James.
I
was in my room messing with my hair again (I wanted to be a hairdresser even
then) when I heard a soft knock on my door.
I didn’t answer because I knew it was James acting more like a big
brother coming to check on me instead of
treating me like the lust object that I so wanted him to. And just like my
annoying brother Mark he marched his behind into my bedroom even though I
hadn’t given him permission. “What” I mumbled not even looking at him.
“I just came to say bye. I'mma go
ahead and get out here. Tell big head I stopped by” he said.
Again I didn’t answer. I just kept
right on curling my hair while James just stood there.
“What you looking at?” I asked finally
looking up at him. “I’m looking at you. I been wondering where you was getting
the money to get your hairdo changed up every other week. But now I see you got
the skills to pay the bills yourself”
I smiled, “Whatever” I said softening some.
After all who could stay mad at Fine Ass James? Then, I don’t know what
came over me I guess I was really turning into more woman than child when I
added “Don’t come in here trying to run that game on me like you be doing them
other hoochies. I’m not a hoochie so you would have to come harder than that.”
I took a few more
steps into the room and stood behind me so that I could see him in the mirror I
was using to fix my hair.
“You know you would be kind of cute if
your damn mouth wasn’t so smart and why all of a sudden you think I only go for
hoochies?”
“It aint no all of a sudden” I said “ I been
running around here since I was 7 and you were 9 wanting you to look at me and
all you’ve ever seen is Mark’s little sister!”
Now I really didn’t know what was going on
with me and my mouth. I guess I suddenly wanted to be an advocate for all of
the plain girls, like me, who
secretly pined for womanizing fools like my brother and James. They never saw
us, never even knew that we existed until they needed a smart partner to pass a
chemistry class or help with a homework assignment. I was lost in these
thoughts when I felt James put his arms around my waist and turn me around so
that we were face to face and he was standing so close that I could feel his
breath on my face when he whispered “I’ve always thought you were cute but you
know your brother would kick my ass if he knew I even thought of you as
anything more than my little sister.”
“I know” I croaked “But my brother
isn’t here right now. Nobody’s here but me and you”
At this James raised
his eyebrow and then bit one side of his lip in that sexy way that all of me
and friends went crazy about and then he kissed me. It wasn’t quick and awkward
like when I kissed Jerry Clemmons in 4th grade while playing spend
the bottle at his birthday party; It wasn’t sloppy and wet like when I kissed
Michael Cartwright in 7th grade; it wasn’t even forceful and his
hands weren’t all over my body trying to make me do more than I wanted to like
when I kissed my current boyfriend Eddie Massey and it sure as hell wasn’t like
kissing my brother.
We spent the rest of
the evening kissing and hugging and rolling around on my bed. I guess because I
had known him for so long it only seemed natural to let him go all the way to
third base on our first make-out session. I was only 16 and although boys had
been trying since I was 14 I had never felt the hands of the opposite sex on my
naked body but with James it felt natural when after about an hour of just
kissing he lifted my shirt and undid my bra so that he could caress and kiss my
bare breast and just when I thought I felt him going for my shorts and my head
was trying to come up with ways to tell him NO he lifted himself off of me,
looked into my eyes and said
“Man, we need to hold up. I’m not
trying to go too far with you right now.
I mean we need to figure out if what’s going on before Marcus finds out
and kills us both.”
I looked away and
nodded my head in agreement and then I just laid there in a daze while he put
his shirt on and left.
The next couple of months were crazy
to say the least. James and I had to keep everything secret from fear of my
brother Marcus. We would basically ignore each other at school and whenever he
came around the house I was sure to make myself scarce; but whenever my brother
was out with one of his many girlfriends James would find his way over our
house and we would do our thing. I was falling in love with him and he was
falling for me as well. My brother
started bugging him about no longer being a player and pressuring him to reveal
the identity of the girl he was spending so much time with. Neither of us was
ready to tell my brother until of course we had to.
It didn’t take long
for us to have to reveal our secret affair. About 6 months after our secret
little affair started my 17th birthday came and to celebrate James
rented the honey moon suite at a fancy hotel about 2 cities over. That night I
gave him my virginity and about 6 weeks later we were both given a rude
awakening. Wouldn’t it just be my luck that after 17 full years of being the
good girl, I would be the dummy that got pregnant on my first time? Many girls
would have loved to be in my shoes; James was only a freshman in college but he
was there on scholarship and a top contender for the NBA. But I wasn’t most girls;
not only did I not want to ruin his life; I had my own career goals planned. I
wanted to graduate and become the owner of a big time hair salon with celebrity
clients.
I
knew I had to tell someone and since James was now my best friend and was half
responsible for this mess I decided that he should be the first to know. I
called James and told him to meet me at my house right after school; it was
Friday and I knew my brother would be at work and my mom would be out drinking
and spending the night at her latest boyfriend’s house. I left right before the last class period at
school and went home to prepare myself to break this news to James. I knew he
was gonna be angry. I’d heard the way he and my brother would refer to the
girls who tried to get them caught up. I prayed that he would be able to get
over the anger and realized that I was just as messed up about the situation as
he was. When I heard his car pull up I
raced to the front door and opened it before he had a chance to knock or ring
the doorbell. I guess he could see the worry in my face because he immediately
asked “what’s wrong baby?”
I didn’t waste any time blurting out
the truth,
“I’m pregnant James and I don’t know
what we are going to do about it my brother is going to kill us” I said all in
one breath.
James just stood there looking very
ill for about 5 minutes before finally responding
“Are you sure? You been to the
doctor?”
“No I haven’t been to the doctor, but
I’ve peed on about 50 of those little sticks in the past week and they all say
exactly the same thing. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
James walked over to where I had taken
a seat on the couch and sat beside me. He put his arm around me and kissed me
on the forehead and said
“Don’t worry baby, I’m a man and I’mma
take care of this.”
“But what about Marcus?” I asked.
I wasn’t concerned at all about my
parents. My mom was never around and I didn’t even know my father. The only
person I was worried about disappointing was Marcus. James held me tighter and
told me not to worry about anything because he had me covered.
We
must have stayed in that position for hours, him holding me and me bawling into
his shoulder until I feel asleep. James must have eventually nodded off as well
because all I could remember is him stroking my back and whispering that it
would be okay and then Marcus standing over both us screaming at James to tell
him what the hell his problem was. James was obviously groggy from the news of
being an expectant father because he was completely clueless about what Marcus
was referring to until he look over to me till huddled against him too scared
to move.
“Oh shit” James muttered as he quickly
pulled himself away from the couch.
“Look Marcus man calm down! This can
all be explained”
Marcus backed James into the wall and
asked in a rough voice
“Punk how you think you gone explain
to me why you up in my house cuddled up with my little sister? What you think?
She one of your little play things? Don’t let me find out that you been trying
to get at Sylvia behind my back because boy I’ll kill yo punk ass.”
I
sat on the couch watching their friendship fall apart all because of me and I
was too scared to intervene and attempt to be of any kind of help. All I could
picture was the coroner removing James from our house in a body bag while the
police lead Marcus away in handcuffs when suddenly I was snapped out of my
daydream by James’ sweet voice yelling at my brother “I’m not playing with her.
I love her man. I love her and it’s too late for you to do anything about it
because I plan on marrying her!”
This sent my brother of the edge.
Exasperated with James he headed towards me and pinned down on the couch
shaking me asking what was wrong me
“You been messing around with this
fool? Huh, Sylvia? What you now, one of his little groupies? What you wanna be
just like our sorry as momma now?”
He was shaking me so hard that I
couldn’t speak when James came to my rescue and pulled Marcus off of me “You
can’t do her like that Marcus man. You need to chill”
“Why don’t you get your punk ass out
of here? This is my sister and I can do what I want to her”
Marcus spat towards
James when James took a visibly deep breath and held up his hands while backing
away “Look dude, I understand that Sylvia is your sister but you can’t do her
like that in her condition.”
We all stood frozen solid for about 3 or 4
minutes when finally James finished
“She’s pregnant man. She’s carrying my
child”.
It was then my turn to let out a visible deep
breath. I was happy that it was finally out in the open. James stared at
Marcus, wondering what his next move would be while Marcus stared at me waiting
for what I presumed, some type of confirmation or denial. I couldn’t bring
myself to look up at him and witness the hurt in his eyes so I kept my head
lowered and simply nodded yes. Marcus took a minute or two to look us both over
with utter discuss before saying in the meanest voice I’d ever heard anybody
use
“I’m about to circle the block, grab
me a beer and a dime bag and since I pay all the bills up in here, I don’t
expect to see either one of you deceitful bastards when I get back! Or ever
again for all I care.” And with that he stormed out and slammed the door behind
him.
Once
Marcus left, James and I silently went into my room and he helped me pack
whatever belongings would fit into my luggage. James kept reassuring me on the
ride to his apartment that it would be okay but all I could do was cry and ask
him how? One night had turned both of our lives into complete messes.
James
lived in a small studio apartment close to campus. He didn’t even have a
bedroom much less a bed. He only had a let out sofa; which he made up for me
and got me settled in. We didn’t talk much that night. James kept trying to
start conversations with me but all I wanted to do was go to sleep. I guess he
got the picture when I started snoring in the middle of him trying to convince
me that the whole thing would blow over and everything would be back to normal
in no time. It was already after 3 a.m.
After
only 3 hours of semi-restful sleep, I was jolted when James opened the blinds
and let the sun glare in.
“What the hell is…”was all I could get
out before morning sickness took over and I had to rush to the bathroom. After
I finished what I guessed would be my new morning routine and washed up I
walked back into the sitting area and found James at his little raggedy two
chair dining table with a calculator and various sheets of paper scattered
about. I was about to ask him what he
was doing when the sudden smell of hot sausage
and biscuits reminded me of the fact that with everything that happened
last night I hadn’t had dinner. I saw that In front of the chair across from
him sat a McDonald’s bag and without even asking if it was mine, I dug into the
contents.
Once
I gobbled the first biscuit and sausage combo and was putting strawberry jelly
on the second, I felt James’ eyes on me. I looked up to find him staring at me
intensely.
”What’s wrong?” I asked for the
realizing that maybe one of the breakfast sandwiches was for him.
“Nothing” he replied. He let a moment
of silence pass before adding
“You know I meant every word of what I
said last night?”
I was sitting there trying to sort out what he
may be referring to out all that happened the night before when he interrupted
me with
“I really do want to marry you
Sylvia.”
“James” I said “I know you are a
really great guy and you are trying to make everything better by doing the
right thing but I don’t think getting married is our best option”
“Sylvia please, just let me do right
by you. I don’t want to be like the rest of these dudes in the hood, getting
girls pregnant and then leaving them to live on welfare!”
“James, what do you plan on doing? Are
you gonna quit school? Give up your NBA dreams? Why would you do that?”
I tried to reason with him. James
walked over to me, got down on one knee, took my hand into his hand and looked
me directly in the eyes.
“Baby, I love you” he said “and I
intend to do the right thing. I don’t know my father, you don’t know your
father, half the young people in our hood don’t know their father’s and the
dudes are walking around the same neighborhood every day. I know that you are
carrying my son and we are going to get married. I will work full-time and go
to school part-time. If I drop the team I still can keep my scholarship and
finish school. You are going to test out of high school and stay home. By the
time I finish with college and get a good job, Lil James will be about 3 and we
can start sending him to daycare so that you can start taking classes at the
local beauty college. See baby” he said while handing me one of the scattered
pieces of paper with his handwriting scribbled all over it
“I have it all worked out. I love you
and I know I don’t have a ring to give
you but I want to marry you and I promise as soon as I save up I’ll get you the
prettiest ring this side of town” and he finished by whispering “Just say yes
baby.”
How could I not say
no to that? So of course I said yes. James tried on several occasions to have a
sit down with Marcus but he had washed his hands of both of us. James quit the
team and was able to keep his scholarship. He got a full-time job like he
promised but he didn’t drop his course load at school. He continued to study
full time taking 4 classes a semester. I
hardly ever saw him especially since I dropped out of school because I got
tired of explaining my situation to people. They just couldn’t believe that I
got James to get me pregnant (as they put it) and some of the dumb bunnies gave
me nasty looks and accused me of messing up James’ life. I didn’t care what any
of them said though because I knew that James loved me.
One the day that our
son was born, Marcus showed up at the hospital. Apparently James had sent word
by one of their mutual acquaintances and Marcus decided it was time to bury the
hatchet. He tried to apologize to us both but James and I both agreed that
there was no need to explain. We both knew that we should have been open and
honest about the situation in the first place. Marcus was very happy to hear
that James and I had moved from the studio apartment and were now living in a
small 2 bedroom house in a decent neighborhood. Once we reconnected, Marcus
made sure to come by and visit at least once a week and was always helpful by
bringing diapers, a little outfit and sometimes even bringing groceries or
helping us with a utility bill here or there. Things were getting close to
normal like James predicted.
About 6 months after
Lil’ James was born; James surprised me with the cutest ¼ caret diamond ring.
He proposed again and I accepted again. It was a Friday night and we spent the
entire weekend making love. First thing Monday morning, James skipped classes
and we went down to city hall and got married. Time flew by after that. Before
I knew it, James had finished college with a B.A. in accounting and it was time
for me to go to the local beauty college and get my licensed. James promised
that within in 10 years he would somehow buy me my very own beauty salon.
Neither one of us knew that I would be using his insurance money to do it or
that he wouldn’t be around to enjoy it with me.
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