I won't bore you guys with the details of the series of events that led me to want to write this post. However, I will let you in on the not so secret secret that I am a single parent to 2 wonderful boys ages 6 and 12 who both share the same father. This post is not entirely about their dad but partly about him and partly about a lot of foolishness I've seen on social networking or heard about through the grapevine.Now that the introductions are out of the way, let me just tell you what parental categories exist in my mind. I may be wrong, I could be right but either way this is my opinion.
Custodial Parent: This parent has physical custody of the child and is the primary caregiver. He/she is responsible for the physical well-being of the child. Now most often, if this is a single parent, it is usually the mother simply because we carry the child, and for the most part have more nurturing instincts (it's harder for a mother to run away from parenthood than it is for a father). Now custodial parents when left alone are given the right by the other parent to make the majority of the decisions for the child. A decent custodial parent will allow the non-custodial parent's say so to weigh in on his/her decisions concerning the child but don't get it twisted, they don't have to. I won't get into shared custody and such but listen up Tameka Raymonds of the world, though it may not be fair - if you are not granted the title of custodial parent by the other parent or a judge, you have had some rights taken away from you. You can't control what the other parent is doing with your child. This is why you have to be selective in choosing who you make babies with.Non-Custodial Parent: You do not have physical custody of the child but you are responsible for nurturing, teaching, caring for and financially providing for the child. Now in this cold, cruel world we live in I see a lot of non-custodial parents catch a raw deal. If a noncustodial parent wants to be in their child's life LET THEM. Don’t be petty. It hurts no one but the child in the end and sometimes one of the parents can end up in harm's way as well.
Financially Irresponsible Parent: He/she comes around and wants to be in the child's life but for whatever reason has no ends or dividends to 'make it rain' on the child. Now I know chicks who won't let the parent deal with the child because they aren't providing and I can see why but it also irritated the crap out of me. The child doesn't know that mommy/daddy paid for all their Christmas gifts alone unless your punk ass is telling them. As broke as I am and as hard as it is raising my kids with the help of child support I would rather have a Financially Irresponsible parent over an absentee parent (see description below) ANY DAY. Maybe it's because I have boys and I understand how important it is for them to have a father in their lives but in my opinion. Money can be made but time with a parent while the parent is still living is irreplaceable. No matter how hard I try (and I don't try - I just aim to be a really great mother), I can't be a father to my kids. List4n whores (men and women) if a parent wants to be there who cares why they're not giving up the money. If they’re a decent person and spending time with them will not put your child in danger - go for it. Maybe, the child will warm their heart like it has warmed yours (we all know parenthood changes us) and he or she will go to the ends of the earth (like you do) and bring in some dolla dolla bills yo.Absentee Parents: These parents basically operate on the mantra "Bitch I pay child support! What?" these are the idiots that do not understand that while the money is good to have the TIME is everything. Single parenting is taxing, mentally, emotionally, financially and physically. If you can take some of the stress and get the kid(s) for the weekend or spring break then do it boo. Don’t be an asshole. Don’t let a new bitch, nigga, job, chores, the streets, hobbies or whatever else keep you away from your kids. Where they do that at? I’ll tell you where - Bitchville. Neglecting kids is some bitch ass shit. Really.
Deadbeats: These are the worse! They just don't give a you know what. They parade around time acting like they don't have any kids or may just THAT kid. I can't even begin to try to understand the rationale of a deadbeat. Them your kids punk. Man/woman up and handle your responsibility. I swear there ought a be a law against this shit.Can you think of any other parent categories? Can you relate? Share your story!