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Am I Petty?

 
 
I'm not a petty person by definition. Usually. But a thought crossed my mind after going through a situation with a certain somebody that was so petty it shocked me that I'd even had the thought. I'm still on the fence about taking action on this thought so I thought I'd bring it to my blog readers (though quiet, I know ya'll are out there...I see my stats) and Facebook to help me decide.
 
 
Before I can present you with the actual question I need to provide you with a little background.
 
First, I wrote a book. A cute little non fiction number about 5 women and a beauty shop. I've been writing this book for about 2 years. Not because it was that difficult to write but because I'm a perpetual procrastinator and I foolishly yet wholeheartedly believe that I work best under pressure.
 
Okay. So a few months ago I decided to toss out my procrastinator way of life and just finish the damn book already! I started working on the book like I actually wanted to finish it one day but I still wasn't drill sergeant strict about my writing schedule. I was just living life like I normally do only I was a bit more determined to finished the book so that I could start writing my next novel.
 
I have about 700 friends on FB and I like to interact with them. They are all either celebrities, people I actually know or people who my friends know so they're cool in my book. Anyway, I was scrolling down my newsfeed on night and saw a status from a classmate and I commented which led him to in-boxing me and we discussed the situation further. Rock on rock on and shortly thereafter we exchanged numbers and the courting began. 
 
Eventually in one of our many hours long late night phone conversations I mentioned that I was writing a book. He was impressed and proud. I fibbed a little and told him that I was almost finish, when in actuality I was only about half way finished with the book. But, unknowingly to him, his encouragement (along with me not wanting to remain a liar) pushed me to actually finish my book.
 
Because of this I put him in my dedications. He was a very big part of the most important part of my book writing experience, finishing it.
 
Fast forward 2.5 months and this negro straight got to tripping on me! I won't go into the details of why we didn't make it beyond 2.5 months but anywho - I thought I'd found a friend even if I had not found my soulmate but apparently he thought otherwise. I'd learned early on in the courtship that he was conflicted about another situation and despite the fact that he called me day in and day out I respected that and we both concluded that we would be friends. Contrary to what some may think I'm not a home wrecker (inside joke that I may or may not elaborate on at a later time). So I removed myself the hopes of anything else about 5 or 6 weeks in. There was no physical or emotional relationship between but the mental connection was hard to break. Even when I didn't want to talk to him the conversation was so stimulating and refreshing that I couldn't resist. Like when you've stayed within your Weight Watchers points all day; resisting office donuts, lunchtime fast food, and chocolate afternoon pick me ups, only to get home and eat every single thing in sight.

I won't bore you with the details. We didn't talk for over a week and I called him to check in. Apparently he and the BAE had a disagreement and were on the outs. Because I've had enough relationship woes of my own I didn't really want to discuss it with him because who hasn't had a fight with BAE? I felt they would be getting back together. But I was happy that he would now have time to talk to me (okay that may have been slightly home wrecker-ish). So we reconnected for about a week with us both having a clear understanding that we were just friends there was no flirtation whatsoever.

Now before I tell you this next part I need you to completely understand something. Once I realized he was caught up in a situation I did not call him. I usually called him BACK after I missed a called from him. I reviewed my call logs and out of  110 calls made between  July 17 and August 19; 33 were outgoing and 77 were incoming which is why I didn't understand what prompted him to call me text me one night not to call him the following day because he would be spending time with BAE. I asked why he felt the need to tell me that and he didn't respond. I was fine. I thought nothing of it until I contacted him about $180 in discounted books I was about to order for him and he didn't respond about that either. Then I knew something was definitely up so I went to Facebook and as a final confirmation I discovered that he'd unfriended me. Like WTF? Are we not grown? Did you not owe me the consideration of an explanation? I wasn't hurt because those actions proved to me that he was not the level headed intellectual I thought he was.

Anyway - all of that brings me to my question Would it be extremely petty for me to remove him from the dedications page of my book? I mean just because I know he's cray cray now doesn't take away from how influential he was in encouraging me to finish my book. So in that light why not keep his name on there? But just because I'm unsigned literary hype now doesn't mean I'll be unsigned literary hype forever. What if I blow up? I don't feel like he deserves to be a part of my legacy now because he's such an a-hole.

What are your thoughts?


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